At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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