real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
