i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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