summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
