I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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