I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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