we have officially lost it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
