It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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