I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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