we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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