In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize