I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
