Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
