She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
