I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Less talking, more tequila
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
