I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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