just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize