1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Your tits are I can't wait for
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
