I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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