"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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