Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
