Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
How does it feel to date your dad?
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