Already got asked if we're dating
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
