Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
