Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize