thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
