I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
