I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize