you would pick up someone in the library
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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