My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
