awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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