my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
