'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
