i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
