Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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