hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize