I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
