I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
