I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
