God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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