do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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