Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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