well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
