Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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