I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
