since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize