evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
