I'm so fucking centered right now
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
