somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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