Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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