I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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