Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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