just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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