I cockslap morals
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You took a bar mat shot.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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