One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
