The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
