Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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