While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
