I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
