Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
