I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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