he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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