so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize