is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
