Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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