he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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