So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
